The Pressure To Be The Best

Michael Pakaluk wrote an excellent op-ed entitled A Father Asks: Should I Homeschool? It was published recently in the Boston Pilot. Pakaluk is a professor of philosophy in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Upon seeing the headline my first reaction was to think, “Of course you should homeschool – it is the best thing ever for kids. If you love them, you keep them close and teach them from the heart.”

But then I caught myself and remembered that homeschooling may not be for everyone. I’m not totally discounting the idea it could be for everyone. In my ideal dream-world, every parent is devoted enough to his children to spend time teaching them. In reality, too many parents lack confidence, or are distracted and too busy.

In his article, Pakaluk gives some well-reasoned points about homeschooling and I highly commend his article. Today I’m going to comment on only one thing: the expectations many homeschool parents have that their kids will excel and out-do public schooled kids.

Pakaluk started his article by writing that over two million children are now being homeschooled in the USA, and that they are doing well academically compared to their public schooled peers. While that is true in general, it was not my experience with my children. Both my homeschooled children were in need of special-ed type education. Though I think they got a great education for the unique and beautiful people that they are, and I’m proud and happy that I homeschooled them, they are not at the top of their classes by a long shot. So though I think having your child excel above other children in their age groups is a noble and idealistic objective, be aware it doesn’t always turn out that way. That doesn’t mean homeschooling is wrong for your kids; it only means that not all homeschoolers are top achievers so don’t be disappointed if your kids turn out to be more normal.

It is OKAY to be normal! Your kids don’t have to be THE BEST to be happy or to do well in life!

Does that take any of the pressure off? I hope so!

Homeschooling gives us an opportunity to bond with our children, to respond to their individual needs, and to help them be the best they can be. This “best” should be the ultimate goodness for each child; it should not have to be a matter of competition with others. Competition is a public school concept. Let’s leave it there and enjoy each day with the children we live with and learn with.